Let the necessary occur

That NO was so necessary!
That rejection you got – was an undeniable requirement.
That sounds a tad bit derogatory right, who willy-nilly welcomes negativity?
You’re going to agree in a bit. Just wait.

That person with whom you’re so deeply in love, just broke up with you. Be it a divorce, separation or whatevz… You are broken hearted and feel hella rejected.
You question yourself and wonder how it is that you’re not good enough.
You’re so hurt and fractured, you can’t think of anything except that unbearable pain.

You think to yourself –
You might even say it out loud, HOW?
How was I not received the way I’ve been giving? I done everything in my power to secure this love because I didn’t want it to ever end.
The person with whom I’m so in love is okay to just walk away.
Please don’t get me wrong, this is just an umbrella scenario. I’m not talking about when people die.. Noooo – Not that kind of a departure.

Anyway – stay with me!

You can’t see it straight away but this right here, this was a necessity.

Their goodbye opens up flood gates of an abundance of reciprocation.
Remember, you’re grieving, surely you have limited hope for the future.
I don’t think that anyone enjoys being hurt.

They had to say goodbye
They had to leave to prepare room for someone who is equipped to love you the way that you’re capable of loving.
Someone who wants to give just as much as you do.

I’m talking romance
I’m talking friendship
I’m talking job

Getting laid off work stabs like a dagger
But you know what’s worse than that incision?
Being taken for granted
Not being appreciated
Not being recognized
Not being commended
No reciprocation from the person
No reciprocation from the entity who gives you money in exchange for you fulfilling a role for which remuneration was the contractual deal
That hurt is somewhat manageable because you’re able to live and let live
But your flame kept being doused and you’ve had to paint on a metaphoric smile to persevere

Once that door shuts
OH boy!!!
What awaits you is larger than you can comprehend

If someone doesn’t appreciate you, no additional effort from you will make them appreciate you
If someone doesn’t recognize your brilliance, your extraneous effort won’t open their eyes

In your heart of hearts
You’ve gotta thank them for throwing you out
Thank them for doing you dirty
Thank them for betraying you

What’s meant for you won’t come at the price of your heartache
What you’re designed for, won’t cost you your mental health

Let the neccesary occur by them rejecting you

Your good vibrations will elevate you and take you to unimaginable places
Hold the vision!
Trust the process!
Let the necessary occur

Mere Mortals

You know – that sad, sad, sad – broken; unhealed; trauma riddled YOU – is so advantageous to many.
They feed off of your heartache

You’re tarnished and fragile, that in turn makes you PREY to energy scavengers.
More so the ones who claim to love you and care for you.

You’re vulnerable
You’re lonely
You wish that someone would do for you what you keep doing for them
You often over compensate
You pay with your time
You pay with your love
You pay with your charisma
You pay with your patience
You pay with your understanding

You’re repeatedly pleasing those around you. You believe that they’re there for you. You want to believe that they care for you.
You give and you give and you give
As limitless as your giving spirit is, as is their infinite taking spirit
You tell them that you’re not okay – hoping that they’ll comprehend and empathize with you
Instead, you end up being their comfort and consoling them, yet you’re the one in dire need of comfort and support
You see what they did there? They flipped the switch up on you

The more you give, the more they take

Its high time that you reclaim yourself!

It’s a tough transition – you know this
We all know how comfortable a zone becomes once you’re accustomed to it

And my gosh, will they get mad!!
Yep – those very ones who say shit like:
‘Learn to say NO!’
‘Don’t let them take advantage of you’
‘Put yourself first’ – those ones, they’re gonna be pissed the fuck off

Reclaim yourself!
Go on and put yourself first
Say YES to you

They don’t like that you’ve developed this amount of self-restoration
They need you to be hurt; damaged and unrepaired – that way its easier to take from you

The moment that you start putting yourself first – ohhh, they’re going to be mad
When you start speaking up about what no longer serves you – they’ll almost immediately treat you differently
When you regain your voice that’s been silenced for so long – they’ll despise you
But fuck it
You have nobody else in this world but yourself
You and only you are in your skin

Bid them a sweet farewell as they proceed to be salty with you
Love them anyway, if that’s what your heart desires
Set healthy boundaries though
Become the best version of yourself
Do what’s good for you
Love YOU again
Be BOLD again
Walk TALL again
Dance to your own RHYTHM and BEAT again
Smile at yourself again

You deserve it
You deserve all the love that didn’t ricochet
You deserve that kindness that you so freely dispersed
You owe it to yourself to be gentle, yet assertive towards you and your needs
Give yourself a chance
Be free from the emotional bondage that you accepted for far too long
Go on…
Laugh with yourself
Connect deeply with yourself
Elevate yourself

As hard as it may be at the onset, keep it up and do the work
Establish new patterns of getting to know yourself better
You’re now evolved – you’ve grown
What you once tolerated, is now deteriorated

I’ve got this philosophy, I may have mentioned it here before
It goes like this:
Do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don’t hurt anybody

I shared that philosophy with a beautiful soul that I shared an office space with
When I said it to her, she heard me. She listened attentively then proceeded to narrow her eyes and sort of stiffening the sides of her bottom lips, which forced the top lips to follow in a somewhat downward direction, then she nodded slowly with that ‘almost-approving’ face

A couple of months later, at one of my all-time lowest moments because of slicing pieces of me to feed others – she said:
Do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone

That punched me right in the glabella (for those of you who have not taken a particular interest in human anatomy, it’s that area right between your eyebrows, just above the nose – see I told you that we’d come here to bounce off each other and learn stuff)
K.O –

She knocked sense into me right that moment

So friends – the next time you allow someone to make withdrawals from your soul while you’re in an overdraft, think about what my soul buddy said to me
The philosophy is only effective when you deem yourself worthy!


To Shrink – Or not to Shrink?

For purposes of utmost chastity towards them, I will refrain from mentioning their verified designation.

They have this inkling to associate ANYTHING traumatic with your INNER CHILD

– oooooooh
That makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!

Not everyone was neglected as a child
Some of us enjoyed our upbringing
Some of us had AND STILL HAVE the ability to deal with and address problems as and when they arise
I don’t need to connect with that “scared 7-year-old little child”
Who TF said that I was seven years old then ~BHAMM! – jumped straight to 30-something?

They try to get you to forfeit all the years in-between and reach out to a memory of a tarnished, make-belief little kid

Come the fuck on!

Do you know why I’m at your consulting room hey, shrink?
Wanna know why I’m here?

My life sucks right now!

I’m being subjected to workplace mobbing!
My 30-something year old self gets bullied at my job
NO!  I can’t stand up for myself, I’ll get fired!
I have to snort the debris that they hand out – seeing as though we’re all currency chasing
We have to pay funds for residing on this planet
There’s nowhere else for us to go (yea, yea – space programs promote a contrary narrative) – but you’re missing the point

Another thing, we are P R E S E N T L Y being abused by our romantic cohorts

“just pack up and leave”
Haaa, let’s all laugh together

People who haven’t experienced domestic abuse have no fucking idea what it’s like
They haven’t the slightest apprehension of how you’re gradually beaten into submission
I don’t mean singularly being battered and bruised with fists and weapons –
OH no…
It’s not always physical BEATINGS
Abuse victims will tell you, the abuse didn’t stem from on fortuitous event
It happened progressively
There’s so much to discuss about that, we’ll dive nose-first into that one later
For now, we’re telling these conformist helpers who you pay an hourly rate to… that the CURRENT ABUSE hurts and damages one’s dignity

You’ve sought their counsel as a means to cope with your existing trauma, right!

You can tell that I'm mad hey?
The tone here isn't my usual, mellow vibes
I'm mad for being misunderstood
Mad because I know that someone else can relate, but can't exactly express it

I’m telling you
That YOU will get thru the shit
You don’t require an endorsement from someone who had to learn via a textbook how to navigate through and around trauma
YOU – the subject – have first hand experience
You’ve tried the generic “talk to a professional” approach

You are the professional
You are the survivor
You are the brave one
You are the ‘illuminated

You and your inner however-old-self that you are

You know yourself better than anyone else does
Remember that, okay

Just to recap:
My past cannot hurt me
– It doesn’t exist
My today is a pain in the ass
The right here, right now is the only real time
Tomorrow is non-existent
Yesterday doesn’t exist either
If they don’t have tools to guide you through your present moment, don’t let them fabricate thoughts and memories of a time that doesn’t exist and CANNOT be changed